Well, here we are, another election staring us in the face; like a revolver with a mystery number of bullets loaded and there’s an exclusive club of self-serving sociopaths that get to fiddle with it before you take the first pop at your own tonsils.

I’ve mentioned before that I think mass misinformation is a modern pox; so I thought I would do something to address this deficiency of good, reliable information. After all, it is a well known fact I have no biases whatsoever and am always right. Thus, I present to you the summary of the current political situation, for your convenience and clarity:

I should clarify that —despite what my previous statements seem to be implying— I do think you should vote. As much as individual votes lack the ability to change the outcome, we still need to put them in. After all, democracy means you have to outnumber the chronically selfish, the media-pitchforks and the billionaires’ fanboys; otherwise it doesn’t count. So, remember to vote.

Unless you’re a self-centered bellend. In which case, sleep in; you people are well ahead already.